I can't breastfeed. To breastfeed or not to breastfeed? Is a non-breastfeeding mother good or bad?

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Yana (33 years old), Moscow

Did I have to regret the decision taken? No. Not considering the fact that my daughter had formula for the first time, and in the end it took us a long time to find the right one. Not taking into account problems with the intestines and, in particular, chronic constipation. Because before our eyes are children of the same age as friends and acquaintances with similar problems with breastfeeding.

For me, giving up breastfeeding was natural. Why regret something that comes naturally to you?

I can’t help but agree that in some moments, of course, breastfeeding is simply more convenient. For example, at night. It is much more convenient to breastfeed and continue to sleep than to get up, go to the kitchen and mix the next portion of the mixture. And the undoubted advantage for me, as an organized person, is that thanks to the mixture and, they brought my daughter to a stable daily routine early, while children of the same age still live without it, or their routine was difficult to establish or was easy to break.

Tatyana (36 years old), Kazan

Even during pregnancy, I decided that I would not breastfeed. The process itself did not inspire me. In addition, I planned for three months after the birth of the child, so I decided that it would be painful to install breastfeeding, and then no less painful and quite quickly to wind it down, there was no point in starting. This calculation was justified - we left our daughter with her grandmother for a day in the first month of her life. In addition, since I myself am artificial, since my mother did not have milk, I was sure that I would not have it either, and was initially prepared for this outcome.

I didn’t feel any anxiety about this. If I have grown up completely healthy person on the mixture that was offered to my mother 36 years ago, modern ones are unlikely to harm the child’s health. Fortunately, my daughter doesn’t have any, so even the formula we chose was quite average, and I can’t say that it made a hole in the family budget.

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The fact that the milk did come really surprised me. Perhaps my reasoning will sound amateurish - I have not studied this issue deeply - but I did not really count on the nutritional value of my milk, since for a long time before pregnancy I was on a diet and could not eat for two days.

(I did not inform the doctors about my decision) they forced me to breastfeed, they twisted my nipples, it hurt me... I can say that this short experience was unpleasant and I did not like it. At the same time, the approach was inconsistent: children were fed at mandatory, my attending physician said that it is necessary to supplement the feeding, otherwise the child will never be discharged. And my daughter is one of those children who, after a bottle, takes the breast with great reluctance.

I have never encountered condemnation - perhaps because I am sincerely not interested in the opinions of strangers. Even to close friends (let alone family members or doctors), I voiced the usual legend that after the birth of my daughter, I was given painkillers that were incompatible with breastfeeding, and after this break my daughter did not breastfeed. I didn’t have to regret the decision I made. I haven’t tried breastfeeding, I have nothing to compare with. However, the current state of affairs suits both me and my 9-month-old child.

It is possible to remove unnecessary supplementary feeding and return to exclusive breastfeeding, even if the baby has not breastfed for weeks or months or if he has never breastfed.

You decided not to feed, but now you've changed your mind. Perhaps you were advised to wean your baby because he was not gaining weight, and now you are convinced that he is gaining the same or less on formula...

This process is usually called relactation. You need to achieve two things: for milk to flow out of the breast and for the baby to suckle on that breast. Both of these goals are interrelated, but relatively independent of each other. The baby will most likely suck more if there is milk in the breast, but this is not necessary: nothing flows out of the pacifier at all, and they actually suck on it; Why not suckle on an empty breast in this case? On the other hand, if the baby nurses, there will be more milk, but this is not necessary: you can stimulate milk production by expressing by hand or with a breast pump.

Of course, at first there will be very little milk, or no milk at all. You need to arm yourself with patience and perseverance. Don't torture your breasts; It’s better to try to express milk for only five or ten minutes, but eight to ten times a day (or more often), if you have the time and desire, than to try for half an hour in a row without expressing anything. Various medications have been tried to stimulate lactation, but in general they do not seem to have much effect; Relactation is possible without any medications.

Producing milk is relatively easy; if you persist, it will come eventually. Getting the baby to suckle is another matter; it’s not up to you. If he doesn't want to, he won't suck. The younger the baby, the more likely it is that he will eventually begin to suckle; up to four months success is highly likely. Older children are more difficult to manage. In any case, there are also children older than one year who have returned to breastfeeding. It's worth a try.

Sometimes it is enough to bring the baby to the breast, and he begins to suck wonderfully, although he has not done this for several weeks. But in many cases, a child who is accustomed to the bottle refuses the breast or does not know what to do with it. Never try to starve your baby by not giving him anything so that he is forced to take the breast. Firstly, it is disrespectful, and secondly, it is useless: if the baby is very hungry, he is nervous and angry, so sucking must be even worse than before. It's better to feed him (and it's better from a cup; but if he's been eating from a bottle for weeks or months, a few additional days do not play a role), and then, when he is satisfied, give him a lot of skin-to-skin contact. Lie down in bed with your baby, naked from the waist up, with the baby in one diaper. Lay him on top of you, with his head between your breasts, as if he had just been born. Talk to him kindly, pet him and relax. Many children, after half an hour or an hour, reach for the breast on their own and begin to suckle. If not, at least you had a pleasant time relaxing and enjoying the child, and then try again sometime. On the contrary, if you spend this time trying to combine your breast with the baby's mouth (lie this way, no, that way, open your mouth, stronger, the grip is wrong, take the breast out and start again), there is a high probability that in the end you will both cry, and the unpleasant The experience will lead to the fact that the next time the child will be even less inclined to suck.

Many mothers are able to return to full breastfeeding. Others don't. Some people have to formula feed their baby for several months because if they try to remove formula altogether, the baby's weight rises or decreases. When the baby begins to eat solid foods, you can replace it with formula, so that at nine or ten months the baby can eat only breastfeeding and regular food, as if he had never seen bottles.

Although the benefits breastfeeding It is obvious that very often, for one reason or another, a woman decides for herself: “I don’t want to breastfeed.” The reaction of others is most often ambiguous. Some people support the young mother, some don’t understand, and some openly condemn.

However, when deciding to transfer a child to artificial nutrition, you should not rely on the opinions of others. It is also extremely unwise to make a choice in favor of breastfeeding or artificial feeding, looking at the experience and advice of relatives, friends and even your mother. All children are absolutely unique, and what benefits one child can cause serious harm to another child.

In addition, you should not be afraid that if you decide to feed your child formula milk, others will consider you a bad mother, or, conversely, if you prefer breastfeeding, you will be considered a mother hen.
The only opinion you need to listen to is the opinion of your pediatrician, who monitors the development and knows the health characteristics of your baby.

Many young mothers are frightened by scary stories that bottle-fed babies have bad teeth, weak immunity and lag behind their peers who were fed breast milk. Of course, one cannot deny the enormous benefits of mother’s milk and its extremely beneficial effect on the child’s body, however, artificial feeding is not as harmful as opponents of infant formula sometimes try to make it out to be.

But despite all the arguments in favor of breastfeeding, often life circumstances develop in such a way that it is not possible to continue or even start breastfeeding a child. Serious illness mother, her hospitalization in the hospital, taking pharmacological drugs contraindicated during lactation, mother leaving or going to work - there can be quite a lot of such reasons.

In order for a woman not to subsequently regret her choice, she needs to learn as much as possible about each type of feeding. If a woman does not want to breastfeed, she must really weigh the pros and cons, and only then choose the best option for herself.

A woman does not want to breastfeed - pros and cons

The benefits of breastfeeding are obvious and almost no one has been trying to challenge this fact for a long time. Stories about “bad” milk from some women, that after a year milk has no nutritional value at all, and other misconceptions are a thing of the past. More and more mothers are trying to breastfeed for as long as possible.

However, artificial feeding has been carried out for many years and children grow up healthy and full-fledged, and the numerous dire forecasts of “well-wishers” remain just forecasts.

Below are analyzed all the positive and negative sides breastfeeding and artificial nutrition. First, let's look at the benefits of breastfeeding:

The most important advantage that breastfeeding has is the absolutely unique composition of human milk, which has not yet been replicated artificially. Moreover, the composition of human milk is constantly changing, adapting to the current needs of the baby.
Breast milk is almost 100% digestible while still immature. digestive system child. This effect is achieved thanks to the protein contained in human milk (lactalbumin) and fats that ideally meet the needs of the baby. The protein and fat in cow's milk can lead to gastrointestinal disorders. In addition, the child’s body absorbs no more than 60% of these substances.
Breast milk contains much less protein and, importantly, sodium. But, as you know, it is protein and sodium that expose the baby’s kidneys to the greatest load. Excessive load can lead to very unpleasant consequences, such as pyelonephritis.
The calcium found in human milk is absorbed 60% better than calcium from formula milk, due to the fact that the optimal balance of calcium and phosphorus is consistently maintained in human milk. An increased phosphorus content interferes with the full absorption of calcium and can even lead to its leaching from the body.
Breastfed children are much less likely to experience allergic reactions, since allergies to human milk are extremely rare. As a rule, if a baby who is suckling at the breast develops an allergy, it is to those foods that the mother ate.
But when switching to the use of artificial formulas, 2 out of 10 babies develop signs of severe allergies. In such a situation, you may be advised to either return to breastfeeding or try hypoallergenic formulas based on soy or goat milk.
Breastfed babies almost never have an imbalance in the normal intestinal microflora and, as a result, children are much less likely to suffer from constipation or diarrhea. Intestinal infections are also an extremely rare occurrence in breastfed babies, since breast milk is always aseptic and absolutely sterile. Mother's milk will never spoil or turn sour.
In addition, thanks to mother's milk, baby feces very rarely cause irritation of the baby's delicate skin and the occurrence of so-called "diaper" dermatitis. However, this feature applies only to those children who do not receive any additional complementary foods. As soon as the first complementary foods are introduced into the diet, this advantage disappears.
Breastfeeding is extremely convenient and does not require a mother’s energy. A woman does not need to boil bottles, prepare the mixture, or control its temperature. A nursing mother will never be faced with a situation where she needs to stop walking just because it’s time to feed her baby and she doesn’t have any formula with her.
It should be noted that breastfeeding does not require absolutely any material costs, except perhaps for the purchase of a breast pump, which some women need in the first month of breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding is not only beneficial for the baby, but also has a positive effect on the health of the nursing woman. The baby's breastfeeding in the first days after birth stimulates rapid contraction of the uterus, and subsequently helps the woman return to her previous weight. A nursing woman loses about 500 grams every month, without any diet or exercise.

If, despite all these facts, a woman increasingly thinks: “I don’t want to breastfeed,” she will be interested in learning about the benefits of artificial feeding. It’s not for nothing that it is also quite popular.

A baby who receives artificial milk formula experiences hunger much less often than a baby who is breastfed. This is explained very simply. Almost all baby food is made from powdered cow's milk. Casein, which is part of cow's milk, is formed in the baby's stomach into large lumps, the digestion of which takes much more time than mother's milk.
Unlike mothers who breastfeed their baby, a woman who does not want to breastfeed, but prefers formula, always knows exactly how much food her baby has eaten. However, here you need to be careful and focus not on standard food standards for a child at a certain age, but on the needs of your baby. Very often, bottle-fed babies suffer from obesity, since the mother, worrying that the baby is eating less than he should, ends up overfeeding him.
Mothers who have given up breastfeeding have much greater freedom and mobility. A woman can go shopping, go on a visit, or even go on a business trip - in her absence, the child can be fed by dad or grandmother.
Another great, if not the most important, advantage of artificial feeding is that the father can also feed the baby. This allows the father to take an active part in caring for the baby from birth, which has a beneficial effect on the emotional connection between father and child.
In addition, older children can be involved in caring for the baby. As a rule, in those families where parents involve older children in caring for the newborn, cases of childhood jealousy are much less likely to occur. However, remember that help should be strictly on a voluntary basis; by forcing a child to do something, most likely you will achieve the exact opposite effect.
A woman who artificially feeds her baby has much more opportunities to rest and recover after childbirth. She doesn’t have to get up at night to feed the baby—the baby’s dad can do it for her. In addition, a woman’s body does not need to spend its already depleted energy reserves on producing breast milk.
If a woman does not breastfeed, she can afford to wear the clothes that she likes, and not those that will be comfortable for breastfeeding. Of course, a nursing mother can also afford to wear beautiful clothes, but she still has to limit her choice, first of all, when purchasing, pay attention to whether these clothes can be used to quickly breastfeed the baby.
If we talk about freedom of choice, we cannot fail to mention the choice of contraceptives. A woman who is not a nursing mother can afford to choose any product from a wide range, without worrying about how it will affect the baby’s health.
A woman who does not breastfeed does not need to follow any diet. Unless the young mother decides to go on a diet to get rid of the excess weight gained during pregnancy.
Bottle feeding in in public places does not cause any difficulties, mother does not need to look for a secluded place hidden from prying eyes, and after feeding, put her clothes in proper shape.
A woman who decides to stop breastfeeding can return to a full sexual life much faster. This is explained by the fact that the hormonal background of a non-breastfeeding mother is restored much faster, and she does not experience the same symptoms that nursing women experience: for example, vaginal dryness or spontaneous release of milk from the breasts during sex.

How to stop lactation?

So, you've learned all the pros and cons, thought about them and decided: “I don't want to breastfeed.” However, the appearance of lactation after childbirth is an inevitable process, and the woman is faced with the task of stopping it as quickly and painlessly as possible, avoiding the appearance of mastitis. To do this, the mother must know exactly what to expect.

Even if you have never put your baby to your breast since the birth, milk will appear on the third to fifth day. Unfortunately, even the reception medicines, suppressing lactation, will not be able to prevent the appearance of milk completely.
If milk is produced in large quantities, the breasts may become hard and red, and painful sensations may appear.
However, if the baby does not attach to the breast, lactation will gradually be suppressed. It may take one to two weeks for the discomfort to subside.
The complete disappearance of lactation and the cessation of milk secretion when pressing on the nipple will occur in about three months.

If you do not interfere with the process of extinction of lactation and let everything take its course, there is a high chance that the young mother will face such an unpleasant disease as mastitis. In order to make this period as easy as possible, a woman must follow the following simple rules.

If you are determined to stop breastfeeding, you should stop lactation as quickly as possible. The safest way to do this is by simulating the natural decline of the lactation process.
It is very important to choose the right bra. On the one hand, it should not be too loose and allow the breasts to hang, and on the other hand, it should not press too hard. It is very important to wear your bra all the time, without taking it off even at night. This helps to maintain the maximum shape of a woman’s breasts. Under no circumstances should you bandage your breasts with anything, as this is a direct path to mastitis.
It is very important to express excess milk regularly. A woman can express either with her hands or with a breast pump. However, it is worth paying attention to the fact that if this is your first child, then you most likely do not know how to effectively express milk by hand, so it makes sense to purchase a breast pump in advance.
In the first week, pumping may be needed quite often, on average once every two hours. And remember - in no case should you completely express all the milk in your breasts, because this will stimulate lactation and even greater milk production. It is necessary to express just enough so that the unpleasant feeling of fullness disappears. Taking a warm shower or applying a hot compress before pumping will help you express excess milk more effectively and quickly.
If a woman experiences severe pain, applying cold compresses to her breasts will help ease her condition. For these purposes, you can use ice, previously poured into a bag and wrapped in cloth.
To relieve pain, a woman can take paracetamol-containing drugs or ibuprofen. However, you should always consult your doctor before use, as some pain medications can cause late postpartum bleeding.
If a woman notices the appearance of lumps in her breasts, she also needs to urgently consult a doctor, since most likely this is lactostasis, which can lead to purulent mastitis, requiring surgical intervention.
An old folk method can also alleviate a woman’s condition. You need to put fresh cabbage leaves in your bra, changing them approximately every two hours. Many women noted the onset of significant relief.
Many mothers have been helped to stop lactation by infusions of mint, parsley and sage. To prepare it, take the listed ingredients in equal parts, chop them and pour boiling water at the rate of 100 grams of water per half teaspoon of herbal mixture. Infuse for an hour, then strain through cheesecloth and drink 200 grams of infusion before each meal, but at least 5 times a day. As a rule, the effect of the infusion appears after 12 hours.

"I am a mother! And that’s why you’re right!”

In conclusion, I would like to mention some psychological aspects concerning those women who are inclined in favor of artificial feeding.
If you still have the slightest doubt about the fact that you do not want to breastfeed, try to maintain lactation for at least some time by expressing milk. This will give you a chance to resume breastfeeding. If you are convinced that this is not for you, you can stop lactation at any time.

If you initially planned to breastfeed, but after the birth of your baby it turns out that you cannot feed the baby for some medical reason, unless you are taking medications that are contraindicated during breastfeeding, try bottle-feeding your baby with expressed milk.

As a rule, in such situations, the young mother is very worried. She definitely needs the help and support of her family. In addition, a meeting with a lactation consultant who can help the mother understand the situation and believe in herself can be very useful.

If you consciously and completely independently came to the thought: “I don’t want to breastfeed,” do not allow anyone to question the correctness and appropriateness of your position. Remember that this child is yours and only yours, it is you who are responsible for his well-being, and it is you who know what is best for your baby.
Be firm in your decision, never make excuses, and try to politely but firmly nip such conversations in the bud.

A huge number of children grew up eating artificial formula. And the fact that you do not breastfeed your baby does not mean at all that you do not give him your love.

Discussion 35

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For every woman, the birth of a child is the most long-awaited and important moment. Most girls from early childhood dream of holding their beloved child in their hands, feeding him and raising him. However, along with work and other difficulties in life, women face many trials. After giving birth, many people feel that they are simply not ready for motherhood.

This is where problems arise that are associated with the fact that the lady declares: “I don’t want to feed the baby with breast milk.” Sometimes this is due to fashion trends and the fact that modern women have many more hobbies and interests than our grandmothers and great-grandmothers. However, most often psychologists and gynecologists associate these problems with a psychological factor. After all, many ladies have to go through postpartum depression.

Almost all girls are faced with the fact that their lives are completely changing. Not everyone can make a psychological adjustment so quickly. Therefore, today on forums women are increasingly writing “I don’t want to breastfeed.” What to do in this situation? First of all, you need to understand what exactly this problem is related to. For example, girls face physiological problems that also interfere with normal breastfeeding (BF). It is worth considering the most common problems and ways to solve them.

Painful sensations

Some women have too low a sensitivity threshold. And others can quite calmly feed the child, even if they experience bloody cracks and bruises. It all depends on the specific situation.

You need to understand that in the first days of feeding female breast I have not yet gotten used to the new circumstances, so some discomfort may appear. Most often, painful sensations are caused by improper grip of the breast.

If the thoughts “I don’t want to feed breast milk” appear, then in this case it is recommended to consult with a consultant who will explain how to properly bring the baby to a source of milk. It is worth considering that even with the lowest sensitivity threshold there are numerous ways to solve the problem. For example, there are special devices and massage methods that help get rid of discomfort during natural feeding of the baby.

Postpartum depression

I don’t want to feed my baby breast milk, I don’t know how to hold him, I don’t want to live! These are just a few of the troubling thoughts that many girls face. During this period, women sometimes experience very serious mental disorders. As a rule, this is due to repeated hormonal changes in the body. At this time, some women cannot even think about breastfeeding their baby. Not everyone finds it very easy to accept major changes in their lives. The birth of a child is a new event and a radical restructuring of one’s entire life.

To solve this problem, you first need to understand that breastfeeding is very important for a newborn baby. The sooner the mother begins to carry out these manipulations, the faster she will be able to get out of depression. When a mother holds a child in her arms and feeds him, she begins to realize that her life has only changed for the better and she should not be afraid. Through breastfeeding, a connection is established between a mother and her child. If she refuses this natural process, then she will deepen her depression even further.

After the birth of your baby, it is important to remember that he, too, experiences enormous stress. If his mother refuses to help him at this moment, then it will be more difficult for him to adapt to a completely new world for him.

Experts have helped many women overcome the idea that I don’t want to breastfeed. In reviews, ladies share their impressions of communicating with a psychologist. If you don’t want to contact such a specialist, then you should consult with friends who already have children.

Fatigue amid numerous restrictions

From the very first days after the birth of a child, every woman is forced to face the fact that everything she loved to do before pregnancy is now forbidden to her. At the same time, she cannot not only relax with a glass of her favorite wine, but she even has to give up her favorite aromatic borscht or tasty salad. Women are prohibited from drinking coffee, eating chocolate and eating exotic fruits. It is necessary to completely abandon sushi and other raw products. No alcohol or cigarettes. Against this background, the nursing mother’s discomfort only increases. The thought that she does not want to breastfeed comes to her more and more often.

In order to solve this problem, first of all, you should not panic and understand the situation. The fact is that different sources present completely different lists of products that are strictly prohibited during breastfeeding. Accordingly, it is easy to conclude that there is no clear list of products that are prohibited.

You also need to understand that infant colic can be caused not only by mother’s milk, but also by many other factors. Some mothers do not change their diet at all, except for refusing alcoholic products and smoking, and their children do not experience any serious problems. It is enough to pay attention to your reaction to specific products or to the appearance of irritation on the baby’s skin.

This way you can create your own list of prohibited foods and not deny yourself absolutely everything. In this case, an individual approach is required. It is best to consult a specialist. If you really want to eat something exotic fruit It is recommended to use it very little the first day. If the child does not experience any allergic reaction, then in the following days you can allow yourself large portions of your favorite dessert.

Of course, alcohol, coffee and cigarettes are strictly prohibited in any case. They have a negative impact on health and can harm the baby.

Tension due to strong attachment to baby

Mothers who do not want to breastfeed often say in reviews that they are worried that after the birth of their child they cannot devote even one free minute to themselves. They should spend all their time exclusively with the baby, since during this period of time a helpless newborn can easily accidentally injure himself. However, do not despair so much. If you really want to go for a walk or meet with friends, you don’t have to limit yourself.

Modern mothers are distinguished by their mobility, as there are a huge number of means that help carry the child over a fairly long distance. For example, you can take extra diapers, wet wipes and a carrycot with you and, if necessary, change your baby in the restroom. Numerous exhibition complexes, shopping centers, train stations, airports and many other establishments are equipped with a special changing table for babies. Thus, you don’t have to limit yourself to shopping and meeting friends.

In order to feed your baby without shocking others or feeling awkward, you can use special devices for expressing milk. After this, it is poured into a bottle, which can be offered to the baby if he is hungry.

According to reviews, while away from home, many mothers prepare dry formulas for their children. Today's formulations are distinguished by vitamin complexes and, by and large, they are able to supply the baby with all the necessary microelements. However, you should not completely switch your baby to powdered milk from the first days of life.

First pregnancy

What to do if a young mother says: “She doesn’t want to breastfeed”? Is this normal and is it an indicator of her incompetence as a parent? You shouldn't judge girls harshly. Very often, women who have had their first baby refuse lactation. In this case, ladies are faced with more serious changes in their lives. For 9 months, the woman has been in high spirits, as she was sure that the birth of a baby would bring only happy moments. However, from the first hours after giving birth, she is forced to deal with constant crying and the fact that she cannot separate herself from her child even for a few seconds. You have to forget about proper sleep and other activities that help you relax mentally and physically.

However, there is no need to panic. If a girl does not want to breastfeed at all, psychology will tell you what to do in this situation. First of all, you need to understand that the maternal instinct is very strong. Therefore, you need to overcome yourself and put your baby to your breast at least once. After this, many girls are guaranteed to change their worldview and understand what a blessing it is to take care of a new life.

Ambient pressure

Young mothers often have to deal with constant advice from their mother-in-law or their mother, especially if they and their partner live with their parents. For some girls, especially at a young age, an instinct begins to kick in that tells them to go against everything. In this case, the more others say that she is obliged to feed the baby with her milk, the more denial will be cultivated in the fair sex herself.

Therefore, if the mother-in-law complains that the daughter-in-law does not want to breastfeed, first of all you should look at your behavior. The parents of the spouses should reconsider their attitude towards the young mother. You shouldn’t press her too hard and assume that she understands absolutely nothing in this life. You can help a girl with advice, but you shouldn’t put pressure on her and constantly lecture her.

The first pregnancy is associated with other problems. In 10% of cases, ladies experience severe emotional stress. This is especially true if the first birth was unsuccessful or very difficult. In this case, the woman develops psychological rejection towards the child who caused her so much pain.

9% of modern girls simply do not want to spoil their figure. Many of them are afraid that they will sag and become unattractive. However, not all women who do not want to breastfeed understand that today there is a huge list of devices that prevent such problems. For example, you can find specialized bras on sale, if you wear them all the time you can forget about such deformations of the mammary glands.

12% of women surveyed simply do not want to become so attached to a child. They understand that if they start constantly feeding milk, this will develop into the child's dependence on the mother. It will be more difficult to send him to a nursery or kindergarten. If girls are still very young, then they want to live their own lives. This is a common explanation for why women don't want to breastfeed.

37% of the fair sex are focused on building a career, so they refuse breastfeeding. They do this in order to wean the child from their presence as quickly as possible and return to work.

Also, some girls want to continue playing sports. However, due to heavy physical activity, milk disappears.

Repeated pregnancy

For many, it is surprising that after the first birth, a woman who calmly fed her baby with milk does not want to breastfeed for the second time. Reviews on this matter are very different. For example, many explain their behavior by the fact that each labor proceeds differently. If the first pregnancy passed without any serious problems, then a second birth could have complications. In this case, ladies are forced to face the same psychological problems, which were described earlier.

Even with a second pregnancy, emotional instability may occur. In addition, very often after the birth of their first baby, women need quite a lot of time to restore their physical shape, go to work and enter a new rhythm of life. The appearance of a second child again destroys all the lady’s dreams and plans, so she begins to experience some coldness towards her child. However, this is not her true relationship. This is just a psychological adjustment that the lady is forced to endure.

Also, according to statistics, very often during subsequent pregnancies, women undergo a cesarean section. As a rule, after this the girl simply experiences very strong physical weakness and is simply unable to not only feed the child, but even lift him in her arms.

Long-term breastfeeding

If after a long period of lactation a woman decides to stop breastfeeding, then most likely she is stressed or experiencing postpartum depression. Perhaps there was some kind of accident in the family.

It is also worth considering the mother's health status. For example, if a girl does not want to breastfeed after 4 months, then perhaps she is doing it for medical reasons. There is a possibility that she has a pathology, according to which the doctor recommended giving preference to dry formulas. There is also such a concept: This can happen after quite a long successful breastfeeding.

If we're talking about about health problems, then in this case refusal to breastfeed is completely justified. You should not feed your baby milk that can transmit infection or cause even more harm to the baby.

What are the harms of not breastfeeding?

If a woman does not want to breastfeed anymore, then she should understand that breastfeeding is important not only for the child. Refusal to lactation can negatively affect the health and life of the mother herself. This decision is not always the right one.

For example, if a lady goes to work and at the same time she wants to stop breastfeeding, then this does not stop the lactation process. Accordingly, milk will continue to accumulate in her mammary glands. You will have to periodically encounter situations where it will show through your clothes and attract the attention of your work colleagues.

In addition, refusal to breastfeed is fraught with constant pain in the mammary glands. There is a high probability that mastitis will develop (68% of women who refuse lactation are diagnosed with this pathology).

Lactation should stop only with natural inhibition or while taking special medicines, which are prescribed by the doctor. In all other situations, this can only bring harm.

I don’t want to breastfeed: what to do?

If a girl understands that she cannot overcome herself, then she should not bring herself to even greater stress. This will lead to a deterioration in her condition and the health of the baby. However, there is an opinion on the Internet that you need to feed your baby breast milk for as long as possible. This is not entirely true.

Eat certain conditions and doctors' recommendations, which differ slightly from these data. For example, some experts recommend stopping breastfeeding at six months of age. According to practice, this period is the best for introducing complementary foods.

At 9 months, babies begin to actively chew and bite their breasts. This results in incredibly painful sensations and can harm the mother's health. Therefore, if weaning was not done early, now is the time.

By the age of 1 year, the child begins to walk, run and reproduce the first sounds similar to words. At the same time, the baby is already absolutely calmly eating various baby formulas. He no longer has such a strong need for breastfeeding.

Thus, it is not always dangerous if the mother does not want to breastfeed. There is no need to guess what to do in this situation. If a child has been fed breast milk for a sufficient period, then it is quite normal to transfer him to solid food so that his jaw apparatus is formed correctly.

If a woman is in a depressed psychological state and does not want to breastfeed her newborn, then first of all you should consult a doctor. He will help you understand yourself and understand that the child is not the one who came into this world to destroy the life of his mother.

You need to explain to those around you that a woman does not need advice, but at the same time she will not refuse help. Her family should help her unwind. Therefore, they can take on some child care responsibilities so that mom has time to get a good night's sleep or spend time for herself.

You should never be ashamed of changing your figure. It is not surprising that after carrying a baby, a woman’s body changes a little. However, these deformations are reversible, so there is no need to worry.

Speaking about the fact that a woman does not want to breastfeed and what to do in this situation, it is worth understanding why this happens. Perhaps the lady is afraid to cease being an object of desire if her husband catches her feeding the child. In this case, the spouse must show care and tenderness not only towards his child, but also understand what difficult emotional trials his wife is going through.

So, I honestly and selflessly tried to establish breastfeeding for 3 months. When the child was one month old, slight stool retention began, and due to incorrectly prescribed therapy in the clinic, we developed dysbacteriosis and allergic dermatitis, and aggravated lactase deficiency. Yes, yes, I also read on numerous forums that these are non-existent diagnoses... But those whose children constantly suffered from colic, regurgitation, allergies, constipation or diarrhea will understand me.

What and for what we were not treated, what drugs were not prescribed. Everything only made things worse. I even stopped counting the astronomical amounts that we spent on examinations and treatment... We drank and drink very good bifidobacteria, but, unfortunately, in our neglected situation, they alone were not enough for treatment. I was on a strict diet (buckwheat, green baked apples and water), but the child continued to be showered. I fainted (literally) from physical exhaustion, but the doctors continued to claim that I was “probably eating something wrong.” At the same time, everyone, naturally, insisted on continuing the Civil War. There was, of course, a catastrophic shortage of milk, the child did not eat enough, stopped gaining weight, cried all the time... A course of prebiotics improved the situation a little, but the baby grew, and his nutritional needs increased. In contrast to the nutritional value of my milk (by this time I had already lost a lot of hair, my skin had deteriorated, my teeth began to hurt and become loose)...

And then I, contrary to all doctors and public opinions, began to feed the child formula. I don’t want to talk about miraculous and instant healing, but already on the second day of the absence of breast milk in the baby’s diet, the manifestations of allergies and rumbling in the stomach significantly decreased. After some time, the stool improved, and we finally began to grow and develop normally. And you know, I don’t regret at all that I couldn’t continue breastfeeding!

And, of course, I cannot help but mention the mass attacks of GW fans that have begun. In the clinic, on the playground, mothers proudly declaring “we are already 2 years old, and we still eat titya,” made terrible eyes when I said that we had already switched to formula. They shook their heads and felt sorry for my child, who, by the way, did not evoke pity at all with his healthy appearance)))

In line to see a doctor, one well-fed lady in a washed-out tracksuit blurted out something like “they’re going to give birth”... Well, and the favorite “she loves herself more than the child” - she listened regularly.

This is where our people, who do not know the whole essence of the problem, have such a desire to insert their succinct opinion... Why, if you do not breastfeed, are you necessarily judged, considered dysfunctional, almost an alcoholic drug addict??? I have traveled a lot, and no other country in the world (except the USA, perhaps) has such an attitude towards breastfeeding. I have two close friends. One lives in Israel, the other in Switzerland. So, both are mothers, one breastfed for up to 1.5 months, the other for 2 months. And no one scolds them there, no one points fingers. Another attitude: if you want, breastfeed, if you don’t want, don’t, feed with formula. The children are not developed for their age, they are healthy and everything is fine with them.

By the way, regarding the dependence of immunity on breastfeeding, it has long been proven that these things are in no way interconnected. A child’s immunity and health depends on the environment in which he grows up, whether he receives enough nutrition for proper development, whether his parents harden him, etc...

My friend’s wife breastfed her son until he was 4 years old and was terribly proud of it. My son went to school and is sick 2 weeks a month. They are thinking about homeschooling him. It's a shame. And my friend, by the way, divorced this woman. No, of course, it was not GW that caused the divorce. But, as he himself admitted, he was terribly infuriated when his already big son would come up somewhere in a park or cafe, take out his mother’s boob and, in front of the amazed public, drink a hot dog from it... The wife turned from a woman into an eternally lactating can of milk. Now he lives on alimony with his mother and son in a one-room apartment in the Moscow region. The son is growing up without a father and is not in good health. But I wasn’t ashamed in front of society - I fed her to the last!

Our women are generally characterized by this useless sacrifice. Die yourself, squeeze your breasts to the last drop, let the milk cause terrible colic and rashes in the child - the main thing is to feed! It’s okay that a child gains 200 grams a month and doesn’t develop, it’s breast milk! Feed always and everywhere, forgetting about yourself, your husband, and work! The main thing is breast milk. Sounds utopian, doesn't it? But this is exactly what everyone around is shouting about! And the saddest thing is that, having put her health, appearance and relationship with her husband on the altar of breastfeeding, a woman is often left alone with nothing. Children get sick no less often than others, they grow up the same as everyone else - neither smarter nor stupid... And no one remembers her feat...

By no means am I calling for abandoning breastfeeding with these arguments. I just want to appeal to an adequate assessment of the situation. If you are a “milk” mother, your child has enough milk, it does not cause adverse reactions in his body - feed him for health! If there is not enough milk, or, as in our case, milk does not bring health to the baby, switch to formula and do not squeeze your breasts! The feeding process should bring joy to both mother and baby. If this does not happen, do not torture yourself or your child. And you don’t have to be afraid of condemnation - this is your life and the health of your child.

After all, if you sacrifice yourself, no one will erect a monument to you “those who died from breastfeeding.” A child, first of all, needs a beautiful and happy mother who has the strength and health to take care of her baby. And not an exhausted and always sick cash cow!

Health to you and your children!